How To Not Lose Credibility On The Social Media Sites

Welcome to the latest and most ineffective way to build your Network Marketing business!

Have you ever walked up to a complete stranger, asked for their Twitter and Facebook profiles, waited politely for 5 minutes and then started shouting at them? If you ever feel tempted, please give me a call first so I can save you from being detained by the men in white coats :)

Well I don’t know where these men in white coats are hanging out these days but I reckon they could make a killing scooping up abnormally behaved people on the Social Networking sites!

I made a new Facebook friend today and I thought (as we probably have some similar interests) that you might have met him, or one of his friends too…

“Dear Michaele (okay let us pronounce it Mikayla!) happy!!
First of all thanks for your message.
Other than my regular assignment, I am presently focussing on one internet online business right from my Laptop. And that is XYZ Company. I hope u might have heard about it.
If not, then hurry, dont waste even a single minute. Just go and check this link of my website
Yeah truly speaking it is an amazing business opportunity available as on date.
Never seen and never heard such an opportunity. Oh my GOD! when I first time heard about it, I did not take a second to jump on it and grab. Now it is mine, my own business and forever mine.
Hey by the way why dont u just check, take a tour, watch the video presentation and if you have any question, come back to me.
lo!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot to wish u a very happy new year 2010.
May this new year bring you and your family a lot of wealth and good health.
Sincerely Yours”

I know, I know, it must be because my profile says “desperately seeking new opportunity; complete strangers, anti relationship marketers, all welcome to submit ” lol. Maybe not!

Aside from these types of messages being mildly annoying/amusing *sigh*, if you’re in Network Marketing you feel a deeper sense of wanting to educate.

I used to try politely educating via 140 character DM’s on Twitter but there’s nothing like the power of a video!

Have you ever been hanging out on one of your favorite Social Media sites only to be rudely interrupted by someone shouting at you?

If so, I would love to hear your thoughts on how we can bring people up to speed on the power of building relationships online in the comments below.


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70 thoughts on “How To Not Lose Credibility On The Social Media Sites”

  1. Hey their M…

    This is so true and one of the real annoyances I have with twitter!

    I do wonder if WE are not to blame in some part. In our desperate attempt to be popular and get our message out there, we follow everyone and let everyone follow us back. The problem with this is its like being in a huge stadium with an Australia vs South Africa final cricket match on (and we all know South Africa’s going to kick butt!!) and we’re on the one side of the stadium and we’re trying to have a polite conversation with someone on the other end of the stadium!!!

    I’m looking into my approach with twitter. I’m thinking of following less people, but interact in a more meaningful way. Engage, learn, teach, etc.


    • Hey there J,

      Lol re the cricket match! I’m a bit clueless in that arena!
      You raise a great point re popularity as the proof is not in the numbers for sure, it’s in the engagement.
      I know some people will disagree with this, but I like to follow people back no matter what. Sure some of them could be bots (but as I can’t tell) I like to return the courtesy.
      What’s breathed new life into Twitter for me is using Hootsuite and listing people.
      From there I can add a list for people I appreciate that have valuable information and just stay in touch with those lists.
      Honestly before doing this, Twitter was just a lot of noise!

  2. Hi Michaele

    EXCELLENT post and video! I love it and I’m right behind you with this.

    Regarding Twitter, just like you, I find the spammy messages very off-putting and at times, very annoying. There was a time when I actually did read some of these messages (which seems like a big waste of time now!), but the more of them I received, the more I just deleted them without bothering to read them (the obvious spam ones, that is). Same with regard to Facebook, although I haven’t had too many spammy ones there (so far!).

    Although I use Social Oomph to automatically reply to my new followers (it’s too hard these days to keep up with everything otherwise), I always go through my Direct Messages (DMs)mostly to see whether anybody has sent me a personal message. Some would argue that this is a waste of time (and in fact, I have been told this by 3 people so far!) – I beg to differ.

    Those people who take the time to reply to me using my name not only stand out, they get a personal reply back from me. I realise that this takes a bit of extra time to do, however, just as you said, social networking is about building relationships with people, and if you don’t interact with others, how can you build a relationship?!

    Having said all that though, in fairness to those people who do spam, most of them probably don’t realise just how off-putting and annoying this is for people. And just like you, I feel sorry for them for not “getting it” with regard to social networking, so I am doing my best to educate others in using social networking in a more appropriate way.

    Keep up the great work and I can’t wait to see what you’ve got to share with us all next!

    ~ Kylie ~
    .-= Kylie Doak´s last blog ..Do You “Go The Extra Mile” For Others? =-.

    • Hey Kylie,

      Glad you enjoyed the video :)
      Your recent blog post ‘remembering names’ will always stand out for me. I can’t tell you how far ahead you are by the awesome info you’ve written on the power of creating relationships.
      I disagree with the people who have told you not to monitor DM’s. It doesn’t take much time to sort through the spam and get to the real ones.
      They are the gems :)
      You are so right re people not realizing the impact of their spam messages. That’s why I did the video and I was hoping I wasn’t too harsh.
      My intention was education!

  3. Wow! Now I just have to get every spammy, antisocial, dimwit on my facebook friends list to read/watch this! The world would be SUCH a better place if everyone would remember this!

    I HATE HATE HATE spammers! I’m one of the few that actively exercises my report button! I know that makes me a non-favorite in some circles but I REFUSE to sit back and allow these guys to continue to make ME and YOU look bad. Its not even ONLY about the rules, its about the harm they do to the industry! Networking has been the red headed stepchild of marketing for too long and it doesn’t need any assistance in finding nay sayers.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for helping educate the public!
    .-= Kimberly Castleberry´s last blog ..Facebook Groups Not-So-Hot For Leveraging Time =-.

  4. Michaele,

    ROTFLMAO!!!!! I love the opening question you posted!!! I actually had that happen from a Tribe member the other night
    !! I was shocked. Not more than 10 minutes after meeting them they spammed me their money making idea. It is sooooooooo rude!

    By the way… since we just met…:)

    Great post.

  5. I love your post! I could almost see myself on the other end of the same friend request. Blah Blah Blah… Great job of bringing me in to this very real scenario. I wrote a blog post very early on that was a rant on how some people just sit and wait to prey on others to tell them that their “opportunity” is a scam and go check out mine but I’ve never published it yet. Maybe one day.

    I saw your video earlier today and when I started reading I wondered if you added the video to the post and sure enough…there it was.

    Keep the lighter side coming. It’s a breath of fresh air!
    .-= Don Enck´s last blog ..Tribe Syndication…The Numbers Tell The Story =-.

  6. Hi Michaele,

    It’s interesting how the law of attraction works. I received a note from one of your readers that if my post to her on Facebook had to start out with a disclaimer then it was most likely SPAM, I would like to have your comments. I’ll post it below, but more on the law of attraction. We have personally over 5,000 distributors in our business and I would say that at least 80% of them are from Australia. We’ve been to your country many times and have fallen in love with it. May even move there at some point. In any case the post below was totally intended to attract interest to our documentaries which are very powerful and give back to the community in many ways. Directing people to our website is the only way to get the trailers shown. Here is my post.

    Hi First Name,

    Thank you for accepting my friendship. This is NOT an attempt to promote our business opportunity. We only promote to those that have explicitly expressed an interest in a business. We’re with the Polaris Media Group and one of the ways we give back to the community is to provide positive, empowering, and enlightening documentaries with profits going back to charities that are involved in those issues. We believe that there is enough negative media out there and it’s time to make a difference. We just completed two documentaries. One about dealing with autistic kids “Kids with Cameras” the other “Unbeaten” about paraplegics that overcome incredible odds to become successful and many others. I want to share this with everyone and especially those who are dealing with similar issues or who might know someone who is. For example, “Kids with Cameras” not only assist those parents with kids that are autistic but any parent dealing with an unruly (I really don’t like that word; who’s rules are they breaking OURS) child and “Unbeaten” will assist anyone going through difficult times.

    If you would like to view or share these documentaries with anyone you can go to: and Click on Check Out Our Documentary Films and view the trailers. Make a difference in the World, pass it on.

    Thanks again for your friendship,

    Michael Berry

    • Hey Michael,

      Thanks for taking the time to write. It sounds like you have a great reason to come and visit Australia with such a strong team over here.
      The Law Of Attraction works in so many wonderful ways and I can see you’ve attracted some amazing connections in Oz.

      You sound very passionate about what Polaris Media Group has to offer the community, which is fantastic as it means you share the vision that is written on your ‘Financial Opportunities’ page:–>
      “The best home business opportunities are ones where the distributors can feel passionate about the products and services. The Polaris Network Marketing opportunity offers life-changing educational products and events that help people increase their self confidence, and nurture their entrepreneurial spirit”.

      So I’m gathering from this that you are a distributor for this opportunity and you earn commissions should anyone purchase through the link you posted…?
      If this is the case and you sent the link to me, then I would definitely consider it to be spam.

      The fact that your company has a vision of ‘helping’ people doesn’t change the fact that you have a vested interest (other than charity) of promoting this to people.
      Almost every MLM company I know has a product or service that ‘helps’ people and many also donate to charity and give back to communities.

      Even if your link didn’t lead to an opportunity and was purely a link to a charitable organization, people might still view it as spam. Why?
      a) Because they didn’t ask you to send it to them. b) You haven’t yet taken the time to find out if charity is of interest to them.

      The trick with the Social Networking sites is to be providing value and building relationships. Once the person ‘knows, likes and trusts’ you, and has shared some of their interests, then you might have an opportunity to share what you’re passionate about.

      I hope this helps and I wish you every success with your company.


  7. Great post Michaele! It seems that people still haven’t shifted from the paradigm of selling into one of connecting & building relationships. So many still see people as dollar signs and do not understand that social media is a completely different way of doing business. I am so glad for your video and hope lots of people get to watch it and understand what it’s all about.

    .-= Jennifer Hart´s last blog ..Vibrational Nutrition =-.

  8. This is SOOOO TRUE. I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago with a new contact. I was trying so hard to build the relationship, learn about the person and develop rapport and with every email they were just giving one or two word answers then pitching their affiliate products. It didn’t take long for me to loose interest. I was like – “wow, he doesn’t get it”. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Social media is like a huge frat party. you would not go in the front door, back door or side window and just start jumping up and down and telling everyone that walks by your awesome business that has products that will change your life and the lives of all your friends and family… you will find yourself hanging from the flag pole outside in a hot second with your underpants on fire… come on people… get a clue here..

    Loved the post and just had to add to it…


  10. I despise those spammers! I actually send a thank you comment to the ‘friends’ who don’t spam the bejeebers out of me the minute we meet! After all it is always going to be about relationships first, life itself is.

    I think I’ll go have a look at Don Enks blog post. See what his feelings were, too!
    .-= Robin Lynn Brooks´s last blog ..Voices In My Mind =-.

    • Hi Robin,

      Yeah sometimes I feel sad when people send me spam first up because I think mostly people don’t realize they are losing credibility.
      Thats a great idea you have re the thank you note.

    • That’s hilarious Justin!

      Yep I think the humiliation of being tagged in a video would work for sure.
      I have sent the video via private direct message on FB and had a pretty nasty reply. Ho hum :)
      On the opposite end of the spectrum, others are thankful for the information as they really just didn’t realize that it wasn’t kosher to do that on the Social sites.

  11. I have found this new website called and it is for geared towards NON twitter users + twitter users.

    NO LOGGING IN required.

    Just go to the site and be entertained or informed by comedians, celebs, actors, famous people,Bands, and news.

    It features over 180 twitters you can see, side by side in categorized pages with 15-25 twitters simultaneously per page.

  12. Hi Michaele,

    I came across your site via Jason/Better Networker, I like what you have to say and can really relate to you. It’s true, spam is so annoying when you just want to find out something interesting about people, and what makes them tick. I am just getting started in social networking, and finding my way about, I found your site and videos very refreshing and genuine and I look forward to hearing more from you. I will be retweeting your article.

    Denise Gray (UK) :)

    • Hey Denise,

      Nice that you have popped all the way over to Oz from the UK :)
      I’m glad you found the videos to be refreshing as I’m pretty new to video.
      Since you are just starting out in Social Networking, why not connect on Twitter so that you can send me a private message if you need any help.

      Take care.

  13. Oh, I love it Michaele! Mahalo (thank you) for this incredible post! I love the example you give also. You make it very clear for the person new to social media how people feel when they post things like to example you give.

    Thank you also, for extending your hand on Twitter. I really appreciate it and I am looking forward to getting to know you better.

    I have always been fascinated with Australia! Hope to visit one day.

    .-= Kellie Hosaka´s last blog ..THE LAW OF ATTRACTION & QUANTUM PHYSICS =-.

    • Aloha Kellie!

      It looks like I’m managing to get my point across (although I can be a little blunt at times).
      I’m looking forward to having loads of fun with you on Twitter, now that we are connected.

      I hope you visit Oz one day too :)

  14. I love this message because I am sooo tired of being pitched on something even before I’ve met someone. I had a guy last night who sent me a message even before he had sent me a friend request, and it was a very blatant pitch of his business. I replied that it would be nice if he would actually say hello before spamming me with his link, and his response was “it’s not spam.”

    So maybe it’s a lack of knowledge or simply a lack of manners, but either way it’s annoying. My favorite part of social networking is actually meeting new people. It is called “social” networking afterall!

    Thanks for the great post Michaele, and I look forward to coming back for more in the future :)
    .-= Angel Taylor´s last blog ..Moving From Blogger to WordPress the Easy Way =-.

    • Hey Angel,

      I agree and it can be amusing to watch.
      Often when I check my Facebook inbox, I notice that there were only minutes between the actual friend request and the spam.
      Funny that you’ve had someone tell you it wasn’t spam as I’ve had that too. When I dug a little deeper, the guy honestly still thought that because his MLM business helps people, that it couldn’t be considered spam lol.

  15. You can tell from all your comments that you hit a sensitive subject, Michaele.

    And an important one since we are all out here doing “business” (let’s face it). Yet, we are OUT HERE in the Social Media, not the business media. So we have to learn to walk the tightrope. Sometimes we get tripped up, so I really like your predisposition toward leniency and mercy on those who are probably not understanding where they tripped up. For those who are relentless, they will not thrive out here, and that’s the hard lesson they’ll learn.

    You, on the other hand, certainly will. Your heart and your head are in the right place, and, your videos get better all the time! Thanks Michaele.
    .-= David Merrill´s last blog ..Combining Your Online Marketing with Your Personal Branding =-.

    • Hi David,

      Yes this post has hit a bit of a sensitive spot for some. Although I’ve had some interesting replies, I know that most people honestly just didn’t realize what spamming does to their credibility.
      I know its hard to believe, but some people just don’t like being shouted at lol.
      Oh and thanks for your comment on my video :)

  16. Michaele you are so right! I get so many of those type emails it is crazy. However, some people are just mis-informed because there leaders are mis-informed. It’s like the blind leading the blind. It’s not until people start digging deeper that they realize it takes more than spam mail to build a business. That’s why it is important to definently educate.

    Thanks for the informtion. Love it!

    • Tasha,

      I couldn’t agree more that often times it’s just a case of being misinformed.
      I too have done some pretty silly things when I was starting out online so I guess it just boils down to being coachable, or not being!


  17. Hi Michaele, This is such an important message. Just 4 or 5 years ago, I was that guy, The and until I learned the correct social media etiquette for networking, it just seemed like the right thing to do because I didn’t care whether or not they would say no and I did it in a way I thought was appropriate but I wasn’t trying to build a relationship. I was just looking for the people that would go and check it out. I can say from experience of being on both sides of the fence you definitely attract more bee’s with Honey. Thanks for sharing, this is a great message that needs to be heard.

    • Hey Christian,

      Love your honesty and authenticity! Years ago, I too was that girl. I cringe when I think back!
      Social Media wasn’t a big thing back then but forums were.
      I learnt a lot from the feedback people gave me and so it makes sense to want to help other people avoid the pain :)


  18. Hi Michaele,

    This is so frustrating, I just wish these people knew what it looks like at the other end. Surely they can’t be making money in their ventures. I recently wrote a similar post about this too, it really annoys me when others just expect you to follow them and join their ‘opportunity’. I suppose the only way to stop this is to be a little harsh and unfollow or remove from friends lists.

    It’s all about making quality relationships and connecting with others in a genuine way. Great to hear you’re spreading the word!

    Cheers, Lynn.
    .-= Lynn Glaser´s last blog ..How To Add A Featured Content Gallery To Your Blog =-.

    • Hi Lynn,

      I hear your frustration! My hope is to educate people but for the record, I’ve had some pretty nasty replies on Facebook when I’ve tried to enlighten people.
      I figure that just as one of the main qualities in MLM is to be coachable, the same applies to Social Media….
      You are either willing to learn or you are not.
      Thankfully you and I chose the former :)


  19. You have provided some rather great and fundamental Sem tips and hints which should most definitely be put to use by anybody attempting to show up higher than average in Search page results however I feel it’s crucial not to lay too much emphasis on Web optimization most definitely when it comes to social network. I believe one of the easiest things somebody could implement, along with 1 of the largest time savers may be for you to speed up social bookmarking making use of WebDOM. In cases where implemented correctly, you actually could harvest the advantages of the page views without the need for having to spend ridiculous quantities of time working on your Website positioning particularly in the case you are really making an attempt to battle in any kind of highly saturated specific niche market.

    • Hiya,

      I didn’t quite catch your name?

      You are so right re Social Bookmarking and time leverage.
      Most of the people I hang out with in the Tribe community use Onlywire or Ping.FM which are awesome syndication tools.
      None of us want to be spending ridiculous amounts of time, when technology has the answers :)


  20. Aloha Michaele,
    Awesome post! Although I haven’t had those type of “spammy” introductions in quite a while, when I did, I felt it quite hilarious! Thank you for sharing your insight..I will repost…It’s been quite clear to my friends in my network that I am with one company, and one company is all that I’m looking for. Interesting though, it’s usually the “newbies” on the block that send this kind of stuff.
    Mahalo for always educating us on the social media ettiquette platform!

    .-= Shannon Tecson´s last blog ..The Millionaires Journey: We Become What We Think About =-.

    • Hi Shannon,

      Come to think of it, I haven’t had those ‘spammy’ introductions for a while either!
      Although it might just have something to do with me taking ages to get back to friend requests lol.
      So true about people not understanding that you are already with the one company you were looking for. People would go so much further if they built rapport and put their feelers out before ‘assuming’ that someone is looking for an opportunity.


  21. Love this post and your video, Michaele! Maybe you should allow everyone to download your video and post it on their social media profile as a not-so-subtle hint to everyone who spams. I’m still chuckling over the “no friends left list”!
    .-= Teresa Ivory´s last blog ..My Missing Gravatar =-.

    • Hi Teresa,

      You are more than welcome to share the video.
      I used it a few times in reply to some spammy Facebook replies and I must say, I had someone become a teeny bit hostile lol.
      Of course it’s different if the video is not your own.


  22. Michaele,

    Great post! well spoken and even better, you added a powerful video to it as well. Keep charging my friend.


    • Hey Sharon,

      Yes it can become kind of annoying but I also believe a lot of people are doing it innocently, as they haven’t had anyone tell them otherwise.
      I just checked out your blog and noticed you don’t have your permalinks customized for SEO.
      If you would like some help just connect with me on skype at ozorganics


  23. Michaele,

    I love your post. I also feel irritated by the lack of awareness and sensitivity on so many online marketers.

    Here’s a thought. Use the spam bombardment to become stronger and more resolved in your vision. Recognize and accept that a minority will really get it and ultimately succeed. The majority won’t, and that’s okay.

    There will always be a magnetic pull toward mediocrity. Our challenge is to overcome it with ease and grace. That’s how we step into our leadership and access our greatness.

    • Hey Louis,

      I agree the lack of awareness can be irritating but we all lacked it at some stage.
      I know many of my tribe community friends go out of their way to educate people on the basic principals of giving value rather than spamming.

      Collectively I believe we can all contribute to each others education and make a difference, as long as we are teachable!


  24. Hi Michaele,

    This is such a great post and such an important message. I am only new to twitter as of a month and a half ago. I have felt very overwhelmed with all the people friending me and sending me their FREE whatever… And I have certainly un-friended people who spam me with their opportunities without even getting to know me.

    As someone who works in the relationship therapy and coaching business I work with helping people build relationships all the time. Perhaps I need to do a twitter and facebook module :) Lol :)

    Thanks so much for sharing such great content!

    • Hi Colette,

      I learnt something new today, and that is that Akismet sometimes takes real comments and puts them in the spam folder!
      So thats where I just found your comment :(
      I can absolutely relate to feeling overwhelmed with all the opportunity pitches, links etc.
      It can make the whole Social Networking concept feel pointless until you start sifting out the people that are only there for one reason.
      I think incorporating Twitter and Facebook into your relationship coaching is an awesome idea!


  25. Hi Michaelé :)

    Great insight into a little understood topic, especially with newbies.

    If I met you on the street I wouldn’t dream of slamming a business card into your hand, telling you to take a look at it and run on to the next closest person. People with large networks experience the cyber-equivalent each day. The more people encountered the more unsolicited pitches.

    A normal relationship starts with a smile, a hello and a few kind introductory words. If you do it offline, do it online.

    Thanks for sharing your video :)

    .-= Ryan´s last blog ..How Watching Seinfeld Can Make You A Better Blogger =-.

    • Hey Ryan,

      Akismet seemed to have picked you up and put you in my spam folder. I just retrieved your comment today!

      I find it really interesting that so many people seem to think building relationships online are different to every day life offline.
      As you said, you wouldn’t dream of slamming an opportunity card into someone’s hand and then run to the next person.
      You’re right, a relationship starts with a smile. Here is mine :)


    • Hi Emily,

      I agree it’s a shame to get to a point where you need to delete someone from one of your networks.
      Just last night someone asked me how to block someone on Facebook for this very same reason.
      I tend to give it one shot at education first and then just leave people to complete whatever journey they are on.

      Nice to have you in this community!


    • Hi Oliver,

      Yes I’m experiencing some interesting things on Skype as well as Linkedin.
      Just yesterday I accepted a Linkedin connection and within 5 minutes, someone in India called my phone!
      I was so puzzled as to where they found my number until they mentioned that I just accepted their Linkedin request.
      They must have been glued to their computer with a mobile phone in hand, ready for any and every reply lol.

      What to do *sigh*!


    • Hi Angela,

      We can only ‘hope’ to educate people who are coachable.
      I had an interesting situation on Facebook yesterday when I sent someone this post in reply to spamming me.
      It turns out the poor guy spoke Italian and was barely proficient in English so he couldn’t understand what I was saying in my video lol.
      To give him some credit he did seem willing to learn as he asked me why my video wasn’t transcribed like most ‘international’ sites!

      Lets keep spreading the message :)


  26. Hey Michaele,

    Relationships first, business second. I always make it a point to get know people first and find out what there needs are, THEN if I may have something that may serve them or might bring value to them then I find out if they are open.

    You are absolutely right though… there are plenty of amateurs in this industry. We need more leaders to step up and properly educate people on more efficient and effective ways of building a business and serving others.

    Great post!

    – Yo
    .-= Yo Le´s last blog ..The 2 To 5 Year Game Plan Is Officially Dead… =-.

    • Hey Yo,

      Your principals are spot on!

      You hit the nail on the head with the word ‘open’.
      It seems like quite a strange mindset to have whereby you believe that everyone you speak to is looking for an opportunity.

      We all need to step up our leadership by teaching our own business partners to listen first, talk second.


  27. Hey Michaele!
    Fa’afetai (thank you) for this wonderful blog. You point out alot of good points in here, and being a part of a younger generation in network marketing I find it really helpful. I can see how doing that sort of reaching out would really turn people off to an opportunity, whether they were looking for one or not. :) Once again thanks for the tips, and I hope all is well with you!


    • Hi Tinei,

      Great to see you here and I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
      Sadly many people don’t yet realized what a turn off it is to have someone on a Social Site pitch their opportunity, when they don’t have a relationship with you.
      Its like saying “I don’t care what your interests are and I don’t want to get to know you, I just want to make money from you”.
      One of the things I love about blogging, is we have a chance to educate and make a difference.


  28. I have been interrupted on facebook, but not by a stranger but some obscure friend. I don’t use facebook to advertise my website, just twitter.

    • Hey Kevin,

      Yes the personal advertising side on Facebook does feel like a rude interruption for sure!
      That’s an interesting site you have there. Is that your main passion?


Comments are closed.